Eli Drinkwitz has a candid arrogance that’s always been part amusing and part confusing. 

The Missouri head coach’s ‘stand on business’ bluster and ‘may the force be with you’ trolling is the epitome of college football schadenfreude, but just as often, Drinkwitz’s brazenness ends up backfiring. 

Perhaps never more embarrassing than Saturday afternoon at Texas A&M. 

Drinkwitz spent the week poo-poo’ing Texas A&M’s quarterback depth chart, which had former starter Conner Weigman listed as questionable and a game-time decision ahead of Marcel Reed, who was 3-0 as the backup for the Aggies. 

The Tigers’ head coach went so far as to call the Aggies’ release “semantics,” and then he barred Reed’s sister, Briah Reed, Missouri’s assistant director of on-campus recruiting, from attending any practices last week. 

“(Reed’s) cleary become the focal point of what they’re doing offensively,” Drinkwitz said Tuesday. 

“You can tell, in my opinion, that (offensive coordinator Colin) Klein is very comfortable with him as the quarterback.”

“I know on their depth chart the other kid’s (Weigman) the starting quarterback, but I mean, that’s just semantics in my opinion. The guy’s (Reed) 3-0 as a starter, and whether he’s listed as questionable or whatever, I don’t see them going back.”

Drinkwitz also added, “Family is always so important, and so we don’t want her to be in any type of conflict of interest. In fact, I just saw her in the hallway just a second ago. But I’m not letting her in the copy room and she’s sure not going to have her eyes on the scouting report.”

Welp, Texas A&M 41. Missouri 10.  

Conner Weigman? Oh, just 18 of 22 for 276 yards (82%), with five throws over 20 yards. For the first time maybe ever, the former 5-star looked like a 5-star quarterback recruit. 

As for Marcel Reed, a couple of garbage-time snaps, but a massive impact on the game nonetheless. 

Saturday was a complete embarrassment for Drinkwitz, quarterback Brady Cook, who also stuck his foot in his mouth with his comments that “the noise at practice is actually louder” than Kyle Field, and the rest of the Tigers’ team. 

Despite coming off two straight poor performances (vs. Boston College and Vandy), they came out of their bye-week flat and unprepared and then folded like a lawn chair when the Aggies punched them in the face early. 

Texas A&M played close to a flawless game. Weigman was fantastic, but the Aggies’ offensive line had their best showing all season. Their running game was balanced and electric (Le’Veon Moss had 138 yards and three scores), and their defensive line hounded Missouri’s offense (six sacks, six QB hurries and eight tackles for loss). 

But the lack of fight and resistance the Tigers displayed was alarming. The nation watched how Georgia responded and rallied at Alabama just a week ago, but at the first sign of adversity Saturday in College Station, the Tigers tucked their tails and looked ready to go home by the second quarter. 

Down 34-0 to start the second half, Mizzou then gave up a 75-yard touchdown on the first play of the third quarter on a simple inside zone play. 

This was an all-in season for Missouri. The Tigers portal’d a new defense. They made significant NIL investments in recruiting and transfers like offensive tackle Cayden Green. They kept All-SEC wideout Luther Burden on the roster. 

And yet, something has been amiss all season. 

Coming into Saturday, Mizzou’s underlining metrics (Top 10 offense and defense) were good, but the stats never passed the eye test. The Tigers struggled to put away a so-so Boston College team and then needed Vandy to shank multiple field goals to outlast the ‘Dores in overtime. 

But they had two weeks to prepare for Texas A&M. This was their opportunity to silence the doubters and prove they weren’t a pretender but a true CFP contender. 

Instead, the Paper Mache Tigers got ripped to shreds. 

They were exposed — from Eli Drinkwitz’s smugness to Cook’s inability to beat top SEC defenses (he finished 13 of 31 for 186 yards with multiple wide-open missed throws). The Tigers’ defense was shoved around and allowed over 300 yards before halftime. 

All the bluster and bravado might be entertaining when you’re winning, but you can look like a dope in a flash when your team suddenly looks this fraudulent. 

Missouri as a top-tier SEC contender? The Tigers to the College Football Playoff? Eli Drinkwitz as the potential next head coach at Florida? 

All that talk should end for now — and so should Drinkwitz’s podium peacocking.

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